Local TV Personalities Can't Stop Making US National News For Saying "Martin Luther Coon"

Two local television news presenters have said "Martin Luther Coon" within less than two weeks making US national headlines in Pantsuit presses for their acts. The first incident on January 9th involved an upstate New York meteorologist who said "Martin Luther Coon King Jr." after which he was fired. In the most recent incident a Saint Louis, Missouri based morning news anchor mentioned an upcoming tribute to "Martin Luther Coon Jr" (archived). This lead to a conversation with station management and allegedly finding racism was not a part of the employee's "core beliefs" and accordingly no plans for additional discipline.

The frequency of this particular slip of the tongue has not lead to Pantsuits looking inward to ask the big question:

What societal factors are making this particular slip of the tongue so common among professionals with every incentive to avoid it?

Black Horse Down: UK 'Faster' Interbank Payment Network Fucking Lloyds Group Banks

Customers of Lloyds group banks in Airstrip One are suffering problems with the new UK Interbank 'Faster Payments' network (archived). The problem 'Faster' interbank system is the result of an initiative to reduce the time required for transactions between UK banks to clear from days to seconds, or in the worst case hours. Complications arising from the payment network glitches are apparently rendering the banks' mobile apps and websites unreliable as well.

DNA Pioneer James Watson Stripped Of Chancellor Emeritus Title Over Afropessimism

James Watson, notable for the discovery of DNA's double helix structure, has been stripped of his Chancellor Emeritus title at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory after repeating the Afropessimist position that saw him pushed from the Chancellor position in 2007 (archived). The 1962 Nobel prize winner was involved in running the laboratory specializing in Genetics research until his forced departure. His replacements are ostacizing him specifically for being:

"gloomy about the prospect of Africa”

As the 2007 incident played out Watson attempted to clarify that his beliefs are informed by the available information on the problem. This latest attack on the 90 year old Watson follows the airing of a PBS documentary where Watson stated he regrets his views hadn't changed at all requiring:

"new knowledge, which says that your nurture is much more important than nature. But I haven’t seen any knowledge. And there’s a difference on the average between blacks and whites on IQ tests. I would say the difference is … it’s genetic.”

Three Weeks Into Partial USG Shutdown Over Single Budget Item, Small Signs Becoming Visible

Three weeks into a partial shutdown of the USG over legislative intransigence with respect to one budget item President Trump holds dear, there have been few visible differences thus far between an operating USG and a shutdown USG. Signs however are beginning to accumulate as TLS certificates expire and government websites go without updates (archived).

Lone University Employed 'Sokal Squared' Author Faces Sanctions As Apparently Academic Journal Editors Are 'Uninformed Human Research Subjects' And Not Human Spam Filters

Peter Boghossian is facing sanctions at Portland State University for his participation in an investigation into the intellectual bankruptcy of contemporary 'academic journals' purporting to publish in the 'social sciences' (archived). The University's institutional review board has determined Boghossian is guilty 'research misconduct' under the guise that academic journal editors being presented candidate papers are 'uninformed human research subjects' when their purported job involves functioning as a sort of meat powered spam filter. The board futher is alleging Boghossian engaged in academic fraud dismissing the core discovery of the investigation, that there are in fact very few checks against the publication of academic fraud in 'prestige journals' by parties less inclined to disclose their deceptions.

Dead Black Man Found At Major Pantsuit Donor's Home For Second Time In Less Than Two Years

Police have released the scene and arrested no one after a dead black man was found in the West Hollywood home of Pantsuit donor Ed Buck a mere 17 months after another dead black man was found in Buck's home (archived). In the previous incident Gemmel Moore, a 26 year old male sex worker's death was ruled a drug overdose following an investigation which found numerous syringes and indicators of habitual methamphetamine use in Buck's home. According to Moore's journal, Buck introduced him to methamphetamine.

The latest stiff has not been identified. Buck inists he has known the man for more than 25 years prior to his death in Buck's home.

Britain To Ban Transactions Involving Puppies And Kittens Through Most Channels

Airstrip One will ban the sale of all dogs and cats under 6 months old through all third parties compelling Britons to go directly to the breeder or an "animal rehoming center" to acquire a puppy or kitten (archived). All private transactions involvine puppies or kittens outside of these two avenues will be forbidden under British law including private sales and rehoming as well as retail or veterinarian sales and "rehoming" in another British attack on private commerce.

Longtime "National Security" Journalist Quits NBC Over Network's Pro-War Editorial Position

Longtime Pantsuit affiliated "national security" journalist William Arkin has quit NBC over the editorial pivot by NBC and Pantsuit at large to an overt Pro-War stance. Historically Pantsuitist have been covert in their anti-peace tendencies, but Trump as forced them into a corner with his efforts to curtail self destructive USG military adventures. Arkin's missive of resignation, rambling as it is, is reproduced below for the record: Continue reading