FBI Busts Ohio Man For Doing Surveillance For FBI

The US FBI is heralding their arrest of an Ohio man after fraudulently recruiting the man to do advanced reconnasaince that the agency promised would be useful for a later terrorist plot (archived). The FBI provided Demetrius Pitts with a bus pass, cell phone, and instructions to take photos of potential targets in Cleveland for the FBI's bombing plot before charging Pitts with a single count of providing material support to terrorists.

Chinese Auto Giant BYD Building Massive Battery Plant

Chinese automotive and technology giant BYD annouced plans to operate the largest rechargable battery factory in the world by the end of the year. English language publications are drawing comparisons to Tesla and their "gigafactory" painting BYD as a fellow alternate, Chinese Universe startup competing with Tesla (archived). This popular English language posturing ignores BYD's established position selling conventionally fueled vehicles and industial equipment inside and outside of China .

Senegal And Akon Collaborate On A "Crypto Wakanda" Metropolis

R&B singer Akon is reportedly preparing to develop a city on 2,000 acres gifted to him by the President of Senegal, a country which was eliminated from World Cup competition under the fair play tiebreaker. Akon plans to center the economic activity of his city around an altcoin to be dubbed Akoin and designed to empower black youth. It remains to be seen how much suffering will be wrought by this humanitarian endeavor.

The Great Again Poised To Grab Courts By The Pussy For Decades

Yesterday the unreliable Anthony Kennedy announced he would be vacating his seat on the US Supreme Court on the same day he was the deciding vote in a decision to limit the monetary intake of politically active pantsuitist public employee unions. Kennedy's decision will allow US President Donald Trump the opportunity to fill a seat at the US Supreme Court for the second time in as many years.

The US Supreme Court seats most likely to become vacant next are those of the 85 year old Ruth Bader Ginsburg or the 79 year old Stephen Breyer, who wil be 91 and 86 respectively if they survive through the end of Trump's second term.

US Captures 35 Entrepreneurs In Coordinated Attack On Commerce

The US Department of "Justice" has announced their capture of 35 entrepreneurs for engaging in commerce while located within the borders of the evil empire (archived). The captured entrepreneurs made the common mistake of attempting to bring commerce to the USG operated tor network. This is not the first coordinated attack on "Darkweb" entrepreneurs, but this is the first to target individual vendors instead of marketplace operators.