Monthly Archives: July 2016

EthereumClassic Emerges!

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Ether huffers dissatisfied with community attempts to change the formula of their beloved jenkem have released EthereumClassic, billed on github as "a project to keep the original censorship-resistant Ethereum going". The github repo offered no actual code, only a statement regarding opposition to the hard fork meant to rescue The Dao.1 A subreddit was also set up, r/ethereumclassic, which had 75 members at the time of this article. The move follows an increased amount of anxiety in the community as the hard fork inches closer, with new security issues seemingly found every day. Just yesterday it was discovered that Ethereum's parity HTTP JSON API contained a flaw that would allow anyone to remotely empty wallets. The Ethereum Classic community did not respond to a request for comment as to whether their team planned on fixing these issues. Sorry for your loss.

  1. Notably this hardfork doesn't actually change the working of Ethereum. It instead retroactively changes the meaning of the DAO's contract. This is a truly brazen attempt at theft under the guise of "improving the network" by changing one thing built on it. It also means Ethereum clients can accept either side of the chainsplit for maximum lulz.  ↩

Three Baton Rouge Officers Killed In Ambush

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Three Baton Rouge, Louisiana police officers were killed after responding to a call of shots fired (archived). Once the police arrived at the scene the suspects who appeared to already be engaged in a gun battle with each other redirected their aggro and targeted the police officers. Whether this was an honest gun battle between actual adversaries that turned into an ambush when police arrived or a planned ambush shaped by the idea that simulating a gun battle in the streets would1 attract a sizeable police response. One of the ambushers was shot dead and two were arrested. Other participants may at present be suffering neither confinement nor the actualization of their mortality. Peace in our time.

  1. At least at present  ↩

Roger VER-ified Censorship Free Paradise Censors

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The convicted felon known as Roger Verified (WOT:nonperson), scraped the bottom of the reddit barrel when creating the lulz mine r/btc, in an attempt to create a forum for users interested in hijacking Bitcoin with bigger blocks. His claim was r/bitcoin, run by the scammer theymos (WoT: theymos), did not represent the views of the majority due to censorship. Verified further claimed his new lulz mine r/btc, was free of censorship, and thus represented an unbiased view. Upon publicly disclosing his subreddit's moderation logs, evidence quickly arose of an obfuscated censorship technique.

The automoderator bot, contrary to Roger VER-ified claims is optional. It is turned off by default, and upon being activated comes with a completely blank configuration. The logs reveal /r/BTC's automoderator deletes any comments from a user with -50 comment karma in that subreddit, a custom policy which required intentional implementation. Given the evidence Trilema reported earlier proving reddit is easily manipulated by bots, it is pretty clear the moderators are utilizing vote manipulation to censor unpopular opinions.

Steem Hacked

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Steem, the latest "Social media" website announced early Friday that the website has suffered "a cyber attack" of an undisclosed nature. (archived)The blog post stated that "In the attack, fewer than 260 accounts were compromised, and less than $85,000 worth of Steem Dollars and Steem may have been stolen." CEO Ned Scott said. The company wasted no time informing the internet police and FBI of the attack, and claim that the hack is now contained and that no user accounts or wallets are at risk and they really mean it this time. The blog post also stated that any users whose accounts were compromised will be completely reimbursed.

Steem the currency currently has a market cap of $ 336,938,441 USD and is #3 in ranking on coinmarketcap.com, just below Ethereum at the time of writing. Each Steem currently trades for around $4.00, and total supply of these cowpies is 83,922,001. 24 hour volume was slightly under 2 million USD. Peace in Our Time.

Bastille Day Truck Attack In Nice, France

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In Nice, France a man attacked a crowd celebrating "Bastille Day" by using a truck as a weapon. Details about the incident are developing with estimates suggesting 30-50 at least 60 73 deaths and no according to early official statements on the number of casualties. This early media provided estimate suggests the total number of fatalities in this incident could greatly exceed those achieved in the recent Orlando gaybar shooting.This incident seems to support the late Timothy McVeigh's hypothesis that a well aimed motor vehicle makes a far more effective weapon of terror than any rifle.

In news of indeterminate relation to the Nice attack, a truck near the Eiffel tower in Paris reportedly had a cargo full of fireworks begin to ignite.

Windows Print Spooler Vulnerability Spent 20 Years Unaddressed

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A  vulnerability in the way Microsoft Windows communicates with printers survived 20 years in the wild (archived). It was addressed in the latest round of Windows Update patches, which if the Stuxnet backdoor is any example means that Microsoft merely tightened the conditions for exploiting it until the probable new vulnerability becomes public knowledge. Sorry for your loss.

Theresa May British PM After No One Else Wants Job Following #Brexit Vote

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Later this week censorious Tory Theresa May (WOT :nonperson) will be set to take over as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom following a #Brexit inspired series of abidcations. Theresa May was selected through the incredibly democratic process where a bunch of parliament insiders gathered around and asked each other who wants the job and is registered as a member of the correct party.

During the campaign preceding the #Brexit vote May supported the "Remain" ballot option though this week she changed her position to:

"#Brexit means #Brexit"

May publicly declared however the best time to actually file the UK's action would be at the end of this year.

In addition to being a #Brexit opponent May is a supporter of the war on computing. Further her barren womb was a source of ridicule in the posturing contest that lead to her selection. Many in the mainstream anglophone press are already producing fanfic supposing that May and Hillary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) will be the next incarnation of the Thatcher-Reagan partnership. This fanfic of course neglects the greater similarity Donald Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) has with Reagan given their common careers as entertainers and spokespersons before entering politics.

Theresa May is unlikely to undertake any measures correcting previous actions on the part of the United Kingdom to regulate itself out of Bitcoin. Sorry for your laws.

Shots Fired At D.C. Police Oficers

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Zero Hedge reports that five men are under arrest in D.C after firing shots at police officers (archived). According to an unidentified spokesperson for the department the shots were not an attack on police officers, instead the shooting was merely a strategy for trying to avoid arrest. They were not successful. Omitted from any public statement is a mechanism by which shooting at police officers could be successful at avoiding or at least delaying arrest. Peace in our time!