Monthly Archives: June 2016

Preet Indicts Hondurans In Honduras

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Evil itselfAgent of oppresion Preet Bharara handed out indictments to 6 Honduran policemen on Wednesday. These officers are not of Preet's District in Manhattan or even the United States. The officers allegedly conspired to smuggle cocaine between points that are not in the United States, though Preet assures the destination was the United States and not one of the other countries that likes cocaine too.1Undercover officers fraudulently misrepresenting themselves as Mexican narcotics wholesalers offered the officers a million United States dollars in bribes to "ensure the safe passage of tons of cocaine through the jungles of Honduras" Bharara said. The officers allegedly operated the smuggling ring over a ten year period. Last month Fabio Porfirio Lobo, the son of a former Honduran president, plead guilty to some charges and introduced the accused officers to the fake merchants. Sorry for your laws Mister World Police.

  1. This list consists of all of the countries.  ↩

US Customs Seeks To Control Social Media Imports

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A proposal from US Customs and Border Protection will ask visa applicants to reveal their social media identities, a move they claim will keep the country safer from terrorists. The announcement on thefederalregister.gov website stated "It will be an optional data field to request social media identifiers to be used for vetting purposes, as well as applicant contact information. Collecting social media data will enhance the existing investigative process and provide DHS greater clarity and visibility to possible nefarious activity and connections by providing an additional tool set which analysts and investigators may use to better analyze and investigate the case." No mention was made on how the agency plans to verify the data found within the social media profiles, seeing as terrorists will likely just make fake profiles or be in possession of multiple identities.

Microsoft Withdraws Paid Fitness App, Existing Users To Lose Access

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It appears Microsoft is on the Transmayo Transition Train with the company withdrawing the Xbox Fitness App from their marketplace. The app which allowed XBox One users to "purchase" a variety of fitness videos to fight the potential for Obeastiality in their own lives, will become unusable to those who paid on July 1st, 2017. It is unknown how many butter golems at Microsoft's XBox division were so triggered by the idea of people not being fellow lardbarges, that they decided they just had to turn XBox fitness into an instrument of theft.

How The Tor Project Pays And Pays CIA Agents From Their USG.Navy Coffers

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From the Tor Project's own timeline on their hiring and post separation payments to "former" CIA agent David Chasteen. Given the source, information presented as facts in this timeline may not be in concordance with reality. Interesting points bolded:

A sends:
Subject: David Chasteen Timeline
This is a timeline of events related to Tor's hiring of David Chasteen.
January 15th, 2011: David Chasteen attended a Tor hackday at MIT, while claiming to work for the State Department. There, he met Tor people including Jacob Appelbaum. Around this time, David Chasteen indicated he was interested in a job at Tor, but he was not hired.
October 5th, 2014: Roger Dingledine suggested adding David Chasteen to the tor-internal private mailing list and possibly hiring him as a project manager.
October 8th, 2014: Based on her previous experiences working with him, Karen Reilly sent an email to tor-internal advocating for David Chasteen to be hired as a project manager.
October 14th, 2014: David Chasteen was added to tor-internal.
November 5th and 6th, 2014: Operation Onymous
November 6th, 2014: David Chasteen's last day at the CIA after working there for 8 years.
November 7th, 2014: David Chasteen's first day working for Tor as a project manager. Along with Karen Reilly, he attended Freedom of the Press Foundation's Digital Security Conference in Washington DC. At the conference, he met with Xeni Jardin about writing a guest post on Boingboing about Tor hiring him. On this same day, David Chasteen disclosed to Roger Dingledine that he worked for the CIA.
November 9th, 2014: In the wake of media concerns stemming from Operation Onymous, Jacob Appelbaum sent an email to tor-internal calling for a more coordinated media strategy. In this, he asked if anyone paid by Tor has a clearance.
November 10th, 2014 13:30 EST: David Chasteen responded saying that he had a clearance, but it is no longer active. He further stated that, because all Foreign Service Officers and military officers have clearance, having a policy against hiring anyone with a clearance would be discrimination against veterans.
November 10th, 2014 15:21 EST: David Chasteen sent an email to tor-internal disclosing that he worked for the CIA for 8 years, explaining why he wanted to work for Tor, and discussing is plans going forward (including the Boingboing guest post).
November 10th, 2014: tor-internal IRC and mailing list discussion about how to handle the hiring of David Chasteen.
November 10th, 2014 18:21 EST: David Chasteen sent an email saying he was going to "bow out" because it did not seem like anyone was comfortable with the situation.
November 11th, 2014 18:51 EST: Jacob Appelbaum sent the #tor-internal IRC log to the tor-internal email list.
November 10th, 2014 22:44 EST: David Chasteen said he was going to unsubscribe himself from tor-internal. At 23:10 EST, Damian Johnson confired that David Chasteen was no longer on tor-internal.
November 16th: Andrew Lewman sent an email to tor-internal saying that David Chasteen hired a law firm and that members of the list should have no contact with David Chasteen or discussions about him.
December 2nd: Andrew Lewman told tor-internal that negotiations with David Chasteen were ongoing, reiterated his request that tor-internal members have no contact with or discussions about David Chasteen, and said he would report back with updates.
At some later date, David Chasteen settled out of court with the Tor Project.1

  1. This means the Tor Project paid their valiant CMU Tor Attack and Operation Onymous fall guy. Except where are the mentions that the CMU Tor Attack did Operation Onymous? Well, who needs those when you have a David Chasteen to play distraction.  ↩

Tim Swanson Misunderstands Reality Again

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Today Tim Swanson (WOT:nonperson) published yet another piece illustrating his fundamental misunderstanding of markets and the world writ large. In this latest piece Swanson supposes that a "Kimberly Process" might be possible for cryptocurrencies. 1 The Kimberly Process is a sort of anti-money laundering process applied to the market for gem diamonds. Through the Kimberly Process "bad guys" can't sell potential gem diamonds2 to "good guys" and the scheme appears to work for this purpose so long as no one cares to observe all the ways it doesn't.

The actual thing it does work for is slowing the flow of gem diamonds to the jewelry market avoiding the corn grower's problem and increasing the price of individual diamonds and profit margins for the De Beers family of Companies.3

Swanson's argument depends upon Bitcoin being some broken thing like gem diamonds when instead there's an actual market. Sorry for your laws.

  1. Swanson of course uses the term plural, this manner supposes a class of many cryptocurrency of which Bitcoin is but one member. To the contrary cryptocurrency is Bitcoin.  ↩

  2. As opposed to industrial diamonds which are an actual commodity.  ↩

  3. The De Beers cartel ended up falling from prominence around the time the Kimberly Process went into effect anyway because other people caught onto the part where gem capable diamonds aren't as common as De Beers cultivated illusions of their being.  ↩

Google CEO Social Media Account Hacked

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Hacking group OurMine, the group responsible for breaking into Mark Zuckerberg's Twitter account has claimed another victim. Google CEO Sundar Pichai had his account on Quora taken over by the hackers on Sunday, who then used the account to auto post a tweet saying "We are just testing your security". The messages and tweets were removed by Monday morning, and no statement from Google or Mr. Pichai was available. OurMine has said it will continue to hack the accounts of tech executives and celebrities, and made good on their promise by also hacking the bit.ly account of Amazon CTO Werner Vogels. OurMine claims to have made $18,400 selling it's web and social-media account security services.

US Polling: Third Party Candidate Takes From Rodham-Clinton

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Presidential polling in the United States shows that when Libertarian party candidate Gary Johnson (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) is included in polls he takes voters almost entirely from major socialist party candidate Hilary Rodham-Clinton's (WOT:nonperson) percentages from polls in exclude him (archived). As the Libertarian nominee Johnson and his running mate, fellow two term Governor William Weld (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) will appear on the ballot in the only poll that matters.

Tim Draper (WOT:nonperson) Still Loves Theranos, Picked Up An Ether Habit

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Tim Draper (WOT:nonperson) the Silicon Valley figure who tried to legitimize the United States Government's theft by bidding in their auctions, apparently still loves Theranos. Theranos is notable for the quality of USG stooge it managed to con into investing further after Draper supplied CEO Elizabeth Holmes's (WOT:nonperson) firm its initial capital. Draper insists "Consumers still love" a company they likely never interacted with as it never made it to more than 40 of Walgreen's 8177 stores before Walgreens abandoned Theranos. It is uncertain whether Draper's expressions of feeling on this matter are genuine or instead reflect fear arising from the realization he lost a lot of Henry Kissenger's (WOT:nonperson) money.

In addition to continuing to love a firm which took his capital and later lost Henry Kissenger's money, Draper has taken to huffing ether. This revelation is notable for making public that Draper is at least one conveyance used by the criminal gang in Washinton, DC to refresh Buterin's waterfall. Sorry for your loss, and sorry Tim for calling your loss a loss.