Category Archives: The Law

Campus Intolerance: Uttering "All Lives Matter" On Social Media Gets Student Sanctioned

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Certifiably brown Texas student Rohini Sethi1was suspended from the University of Houston student government after she uttered “Forget #BlackLivesMatter; more like AllLivesMatter.” while not being brown enough on social media. For offering the wrong empathy Sethi faces the following sanctions:

  • 50 Day unpaid suspension from her paid2 student government position.
  • Compulsory attendance at an August diversity workshop and three university sponsored cultural events every month from September through March with the exception of December.
  • Compulsory writing of a "letter of reflection" about how her TweetCrime has impacted the student government and the University of Houston as a whole.
  • Mandatory public presentation on September 28th, 2016 on “the knowledge she has gained about cultural issues facing our society.”

Handing down the punishment white Student Government Commisar Shane Smith3 (WOT:nonperson) attributed the intensity of Sethi's sanctions to her failure to acknowledge just how much more the class of black lives matter at the moment compared to the class of all lives.4 Smith was granted one time powers to punish Sethi as he saw fit in a vote that only required a simple majority, because kicking her out of her paid Government club gig would have required mustering a 3/4 majority and a trial5  in front of Student Supreme Court.6

Shane Smith on the implications on his decision on speech at the University of Houston offered:

The first amendment [sic] prevents a person from being jailed by the governmetn [sic] for what they say. But [it] does not prevent people from receiving other consequences for what they say.

Apparently you can't get a university education in Texas.

  1. Vice President of the University of Houston's Student Government association and WOT:nonperson  ↩

  2. ~700 United States Dollars monthly  ↩

  3. Self declared 3.4 GPA anticipated graduation Spring 2017 with a major in economics. Considering graduate school and full time employment according to his LinkedIN. ↩

  4. In fact lives do not matter all that much.  ↩

  5. Shane Smith is a member of the University of Houston Mock Trial Association.  ↩

  6. And everyone knows Supreme Courts are clogged with old white men with names like Clarence Thomas, Sonya Sotomayor, Elena Kagen, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and son of an immigrant Samuel Alito.  ↩

Florida Catches Zika

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Following this summer's failure to begin a serious program of mosquito eradication, emerging news is suggesting that flying syringes in Florida have begun passing the Zika virus among humans. Now that mosquitoes have begun using women in the United States as a weapon, the government of Florida has announced it will begin serious mosquito control measures. Britain responded with a guidance1 on sex among its subjects who have traveled to Florida this summer. This British sex ban features substantial gender inequality affecting males for six months following their return from Florida where unspecified other genders face only 6-8 weeks. Sorry for your loss.

  1. Really a ban  ↩

Ether Huffing Gossip Continues, Exchanges Risk Insolvency

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Ethereum vs. Ethereum Classic continues to be top on the gossip list on this week's shitcoin roundup. Beleaguered fiat-to-cryptocoin exchanges Coinbase/GDAX and btc-e have both declared the "Classic" fork a scam,1 and have declared they will not release user funds on that particular side of the fork. Classic continued to have more volume overall in the past 24 hours, moving $ 38,714,800 compared to Ethereum's $ 19,722,200. Ethereum project collaborators such as MIT and now Cornell are frantically hoping to use their new magic mutable blockchain powers to convince users that this is really how crypto works, with Cornell sponsoring a "Ethereum Blockchain Bootcamp" with Pope Vitalik Butterin himself in attendance. (archived).

  1. The actual scam is that in spite of being enlightened as to how hard forks work, the leaked numerous tokens on the chain that was initially in the minority and now they have a hole in their books that can only be filled by playing fiat with declarations the coins never existed when in fact they lost them.  ↩

LastPass Sucks, Always Sucked

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Tavis Ormandy (WOT:nonperson) uncovered a serious security vulnerability in LastPass. Before disclosing the vulnerability to LastPass developers, Ormandy tweeted:

Are people really using this lastpass thing? I took a quick look and can see a bunch of obvious critical problems. I'll send a report asap.

Due to the number of suckers entrusting LastPass for every login, Ormandy received numerous panicked responses due to a postmortem published yesterday on a serious vulnerability that lets websites take passwords held by Lastpass at will. Peace in our time.

Monsanto Led Dicamba Enthusiasm Raises Tensions Among Farmers

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The debut of Monsanto's "Roundup Ready Xtend Crop System(TM)(R)" is raising tensions among soybean and cotton farmers who have and have not adopted the seed component of the system, especially in the American Mid South (archived). This year's combination of weather and desperate tillage has lead to ideal conditions for Palmer's Amaranth to flourish in soybean fields threatening to greatly reduce yields by shading soybean plants and consuming soil nitrogen1 far more aggressively than the soybeans can.

Glyphosate resistant Palmer's Amaranth after its debut in 2006 has swiftly spread across the country and this year's proliferation of the weed has forced farmers who planted "Roundup Ready Xtend Crop System(TM)(R)" cotton and soybeans to spray their fields with Dicamba. The twist is that Monsanto isn't done bringing the herbicide portion of "Roundup Ready Xtend" to market so farmers who planted seeds from this Monsanto crop system are just spraying and dumping Dicamba on their fields out of desperation. Farmers who lack these seeds are watching their soybeans curl up and suffer, because Dicamba is especially effective on legumes.

The fallout from this year's soybean season will likely include the consumption of immense amounts of various EPA and Department of Agriculture functionaries time, substantial monetary penalties and torts against the farmers who manage to harvest soybeans this year, and pain for Monsanto as restrictions on applying Dicamba increase and diminish the point of marketing Dicamba resistant soybeans. Sorry for your loss.

  1. Most plants take soil nitrogen and pump it into growing above the soil. Palmer's Amaranth isn't content with that. It takes soil nitrogen for growth and then takes still more soil nitrogen and stores it as nitrates. At one point Palmer's Amaranth was grown as a staple grain, but in the contemporary farm environment the level of nitrates accumulated turn the plant toxic.  ↩

Ether Huffing Ecosystem Loses 10% Mining Interest Overnight, Hashrate On Bailout Free Chain Climbing

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Since Ethereum "Time Travel" hard forked away from Ethereum "Classic" the total mining interest in the two chains is down ten percent. Similarly ten twenty percent of the mining interest in the Buterin blessed1 chain featuring a time-travel hard fork attack to "undo" the whole DAO episode appears to have moved to the Classic chain. Mircea Popescu published a guide to pricing the various forks of the original Ethereum scam coin this morning.

At the point Ethereum forked it was still very much like its predecessors Dogecoin and Litecoin in being of little utility beyond service as a vehicle for disposing of actual forms of money. Like those two, Ethereum has Buterin while Litecoin had Charles Lee and the Dogecoin had Jackson Palmer and Alex Green/Moolah.io serving as their chiefs of inviting the herd to tour the woodchipper. Thanks to the passage of time blessing it with a history, Bitcoin is unlike its alternatives in many ways2 that make projecting their fork experience on to Bitcoin untenable. Sorry fork, your loss.

  1. This is the other reason why you can't have Altcoins. Any Altcoin is going to be far too new to develop the adversarial relationships between various interests that protect the chain.   ↩

  2. Gresham's law is a thing.  ↩

Hastert Fights Suit Over Unpaid Hush Money

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After being inducted and convicted over his efforts to pay hush money, serial child molester and former Speaker of the United States House of Representatives Dennis Hastert (WOT:nonperson) is fighting a lawsuit over hush money he failed to pay. Hastert, a former locker room predator who imposed his sexual will on aspiring grapplers before enjoying a national political career, is being sued for breach of contract over 1.8 million United States dollars he failed to deliver.

The suit alleges Hastert managed to make 1.7 million United States dollars out of a promised 3.5 million before FBI agents spooked the old coach into ceasing his cash withdrawals. Hastert's attorneys allege the aspiring grappler who had received coach's locker room attention violated the contract first when he told the FBI about the former Speaker of the United States House of Representative's coaching methods. The former Speaker's attorney also argues that the suit was filed after the statute of limitations.

Florida Money Laundering Case Against Espinoza Dismissed

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Michell Espinoza, arrested in an undercover sting for selling $1,500 worth of bitcoin had his case dismissed today. Surprisingly Espinoza's legal defense strategy was the same exact one Pascal Reid attempted to use to before being lowered into pederasty.  Espinoza's case was dismissed on the ground that Bitcoin wasn't money under Florida law. Judge Teresa Mary Pooler wrote in her ruling:

The court is not an expert in economics, however, it is very clear, even to someone with limited knowledge in the area, the Bitcoin has a long way to go before it is the equivalent of money.

This may haven given Pascal Reid ample ground for an appeal to void his plea bargain, if he wasn't so eager to turn rat.

Ethereum-iverse Bleeding Money

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Corn futures fell precipitously early Monday morning as harvest expectations continue to improve. Meanwhile ether huffers saw a brief spurt of activity and the "Ethereum Classic" fork's price started dipping sharply across exchanges. Late Sunday evening, a huffer announced on reddit that he was filing a complaint with the SEC, but showed no sign of having ever read Mircea Popescu's excellent guide on interacting with such institutions. Other developing lulz revolve around a list of VC's flushing their money down the toilet on blockchain "tech", and reports of Ethereum "Whales" supporting the Dao Liberator financially. Sorry fork, your loss.

On Eve Of Convention Democrats Rewriting History Of Their Party

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Breitbart brings us news that Minnesota congressman Keith Ellison (WOT:nonperson) tried to rewrite the history of his party, the one set to coronate Hillary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) as their nominee (archived). Ellison tried to declare that former four term Alabama governor, proud segregationist, and even prouder Democrat the late George Wallace was actually a Republican. In 1972 Wallace was the favored candidate to win the Democratic nomination for the presidency until he was shot five times. His campaign ended soon after the shooting. Ongoing concerns about Wallace's health enabled Carter to defeat Wallace in the 1976 primary  paving the way for Reagan convert a substantial portion of the Democratic party's base over to the minor socialist party during the 1980's. It turns out Ether huffers aren't the only people upset with the immutability of history.

I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.

– 1972's long time frontrunner for the nomination in Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama's party