Trumpreich Swamp Draining Plans Still Elusive, No Dykes, Weirs, Or Windmills Proposed

The United States President Elect has still failed to present any plans for a system of dykes, weirs, and windmills to drain water from the swamp. He was however begun filling out his cabinet. Notable selections include:

  • Tom Price,  former orthopedic surgeon and future secretary of Health and Human services. This move has generated heated debated with lines roughly drawn between health customer service providers that draw comfortable salaries and those who attempt operating a business by billing for services.
  • James 'Mad Dog' Mattis, retired US Marine Corps General for secretary of defense. This selection has been unusually unchallenged in the press. Mattis is notable for bombing wedding parties1 and an unusual willingness to relieve his command of officers who would not get with his program. Mattis enjoys a retirement gig as a Director on the board of General Dynamics and Theranos.
  • Betsy Davos, an heir by marriage to the Amway multi level marketing fortune, to secretary of education.
  • Preet Bharara to continue as United States Attorney for the District of Manhattan.
  • No pick has been announced for Secretary of State. Instead the fate of the position filled by failed presidential candidates Hillary Rodham-Clinton and John Kerry is surrounded by rumors, innuendo, and speculation in line with the sacred traditions of "reality" television.

  1. Notable benefit: less surviving relatives to avenge the deceased  

No Such lAbs Unveils FUCKGOATS

No Such lAbs (MPEx:S.NSA) announced its first hardware product today, the eunymous FUCKGOATS.

FUCKGOATS is an auditable true random number generator with highly concentrated1, significant entropy debit2 and a particularly resilient design. The price point is a shade under 3 Bitcents (shipping included). The unit can be plugged directly into any USB connector. Various tools & utilities are bundled with each purchase.

Peace in our uTime!


  1. 7.9999 and over bits per byte. 

  2. Upwards of 1Kbps. 

Emergency Mozilla Bulletin: Stop Using Firefox

In a concession by Mozilla to yesterday's news, per an emergency bulletin published by Mozilla, users are advised to stop using Mozilla's Firefox web browser. Versions 41 through 50 are being affected by a zero day exploit discovered in active use against Firefox on Windows with Tor being used to select victims for exploitation. May you find Peace in this perfect storm of shitware.

Qntra (S.QNTR) November 2016 Report

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For the month of November 2016, Qntra published 48 articles for a total of 6520 words.*

BingoBoingo 4266 - ADD7A9A28F85E5EF1F51904F309BB8D7F3251143

shinohai 1308 - 260FA57BCE677A5C04BF60BA4A75883CC1B1D34C

Mircea Popescu 614 - 6160E1CAC8A3C52966FD76998A736F0E2FB7B452

asciilifeform 332 - 17215D118B7239507FAFED98B98228A001ABFFC7

Total : 6520

Total words qualifying for shares - 6520

*This excludes one article - Last month's report
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