Bakery Wins 11 Million USD Verdict Against Oberlin College For Institutional Hysterics

The Pantsuitist social warfare training camp doing business as Oberlin College was slapped with an 11 million USD verdict after one of their exercises gravely damaged the business of a local bakery (archived). The drama started when three Oberlin reparations agents of color were detained, arrested, and plead guilty to theft from Gibson's Bakery which has been operating since 1885. In response to student protests, the activist institution ceased business relations with the bakery and actively engaged in an activist campaign declaring the bakery a racist business. Oberlin tried to justify their institutional actions against the bakery by proposing the doctrine that "first time offenders", meaning persons engaging in theft up to the occasion they are caught doing so, ought not be turned over to police for prosecution.

During the trial Oberlin retained a professional witness and attempted to assert the value of the business they destroyed was a mere 35,000 USD, less than the tutition for charged for a single semester at Oberlin. To their credit, Gibson's attorneys and accountans defended the intangible assets of the business including nearly a century and a half in operation while suggesting a very reasonable 5.8 million USD figure for the damages inflicted by Oberlin's attack projected over 30 years.

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