Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 5 (TM)(R)

Welcome to the fifth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are innocent of newsworthiness.

  • Under pressure, the number of United States dollars that fiat/Bitcoin interfaces report it takes to purchase a Bitcoin have climbed modestly from the range the stabilized t in the aftermath of the BitfinExodus.
  • The above price movement lead to diminished discussion of altcoins with none in particular meriting any special mention.
  • Oil futures moved up on news that stocks of West Texas Intermediate were less than expected.
  • Giraffes suffered "species inflation" when the "Giraffe Conservation Foundation" began to allege that there are four distinct species of Giraffe. All four of the alleged species are capable of interbreeding.
  • CoinTelegraph author Rebecca Campbell asked "If Bitcoin Had Sex, Could It Be Female?"
  • Univision deleted six posts on their newly acquired Gawker media properties which are subject to pending litigation.
  • General Motors issued a recall of 4.3 million vehicles from the 2014-2017 model years due to a software bug that prevents airbag deployment during collisions.
  • Bitfinex has established it's BFX convertible debt token to be equivalent to one United States dollar of equity in the firm while valuing itself at 120 million United States dollars. This means that if all BFX notes were redeemed for equity existing management would still retain ~60 percent of the firm. At the time of this writing traders on Bitfinex value the BFX token at 0.5462 United States dollars, a figure that raises serious questions about Bitfinex's self valuation while still seeming absurdly high.
  • This week at a dinner party for the United States National Policy Institute.
  • Lords of the Most Serene Republic began a focused discussion on the future of communication.
  • The unsuitability of Cisco networking equipment for computer networks is creating a whole new class of torts (archived).

Sorry for your loss.

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