Uber Provides Alibi for Armed Robbery

The advent of unmarked "sharing economy" taxi cabs is providing a new alibi for getaway drivers and accomplices of armed robberies, reports confirm (archived).

The Baltimore County Police Department unintentionally publicised this smartphone-enabled1 Get Out Of Jail Free Card when they arrested Dashawn Terrell Cochran in Parkville, Maryland last week after Mr. Cochran held up a local store at gunpoint before making his escape in a silver Lexus that later turned out to be, quite conveniently, an unwitting Uber car. While it's unclear whether coincidental witnesses of the crime saw Mr. Cochran fleeing the scene or whether the police themselves responded quickly enough to witness the getaway themselves, the suspect was seen entering the Japanese car before it drove off, shortly after which the car was intercepted by the soi-dissant authorities.2 Both the driver and the other passenger3 of the "Uber car" "had nothing to do with the robbery," claim police. Hook, line, and sinker.

According to Cpl. John Wachter of the Baltimore County Police Department, the 23-year-old Mr. Cochran is being charged with armed robbery, both first- and second-degree assault, as well as theft of less than $USD 1`000.


  1. Who said smartphones weren't useful ? All the suspect would have had to have done is "call" an Uber car up while he was already sitting in the backseat. 

  2. Given that it's essentially impossible to identify Uber vehicles from the outside, parallel construction as to the means and methods of capture appears unlikely. 

  3. Yes, this practice of having multiple "passengers" is a well-documented Uber scam and one of the dark spots on the enormous underbelly of the "sharing economy." 

3 thoughts on “Uber Provides Alibi for Armed Robbery

  1. soi-disant, with one 's' please!

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